Tag Archives: stupid people

I Used to Think the People on “Jay Walking” Were Fake

You know what I’m talking about. The Tonight Show skit where Jay Leno walks the streets asking people simple questions to showcase the stupidity of seemingly regular folks?

There’s no way anybody anywhere can be that stupid, right? I mean, either these people are faking stupidity just so they can have their 15 seconds of fame (because obviously Jay isn’t going to show anyone getting the answers right) or they are simply having a brain fart… question after question after question.

Now imagine that you Continue reading

New Super Collider May Create “Holes of Color” or How to Make a Complete Fool of Yourself

The Hadron Super Collider (LHC) is about to go on line next month. Now who would think that destroying microscopic particles smaller than an atom could cause so much fuss? Well, apparently the Hadron Collider just might destroy the Earth… or so says the Lifeboat Foundation, who has recommended the creation of a particle accelerator shield.

The concern is that the immense energy that the LHC will create via its super-duper destruction of protons could result in the creation of miniature black holes singularities-that-are-super-massive-with-gravity-so-strong-even-light-can’t-escape. Cause for major concern, right?

Well, only problem is that even if these “holes of the universe which emit no light” are created, they will be so miniscule — having 5,000 times the mass of a proton (a booger produces more gravity than ones of these things) — as to not be an issue. Secondly, Stephen Hawking (whoever that is… I heard he’s like really smart or something) calculates (hopefully he didn’t forget to carry the 2 during his calculation!) that such micro-singularities will throw off more mass than they they are able to absorb due to their incredibly small size, thereby only lasting for a very short period of time.

So… method #1 of making a fool of yourself is to recommend the creation of something to protect yourself from an impossible scenario. On the other hand, people said the same thing about Noah when he started building a huge ark. Next thing you know, he lives and everybody else dies. Hmmm…

Now if you’re wondering why the hell I’ve been talking about super-massive singularities of the universe that don’t emit light rather than calling them by their common name, well, it’s because I really don’t want to offend anyone.

… ppphhhh

BWAH HAHAHA! Oh yeah, because I CARE so much about not offending dumbasses who are busy being offended for a living!

Dumbasses can be white too!Which brings me to method #2 of how to make a fool out of yourself: tell every astrophysicist in the world that they are racist scum for using the term “black hole.” Tell every chef, cook, and lover of desserts that “devil’s food cake” and “angel food cake” are also racist terms. Oh yeah, the term “black sheep” is a racist term too because it means you’re “bad” and it has the word “black” in it.

Alright, get a grip. Sheep are normally white. Black sheep are rare. Being the black sheep doesn’t mean you’re bad, it means you are different than the rest. Secondly, a black sheep is still a sheep. I doubt the sheep is offended by being compared to a human. Although the sheep might change its mind after seeing how stupid we’ve become as a people. Dude, a black sheep refers to a person’s personality and the way he/she chooses to live their life, and HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RACE!

A black hole is called such because it emits no light, thus making it black. NOTHING TO DO WITH RACE!

Angel food cake and devil’s food cake are CAKES, not people! You honestly think the guy that created devil’s food cake said to himself, “Gee, what should I call this? I know, it’s dark and evil looking so I’ll name it devil’s food cake to disguise the fact that I’m really referring to that evil black race of people! It’ll be my cruel joke on their entire race. Mwah hahaha!”

You are helping keep racism alive and well by taking every opportunity to bring up your race, even when your race is obviously not involved in any way shape or form.

I think black holes are the thing we need to worry about the least. We are more likely to destroy ourselves from becoming so offended by everything that everybody will die from fear of offending anybody else. Then the only people that will be left in the world are Seth McFarlane and the idiots who intentionally offend.

Stop making your non-caucasioness your scapegoat for everything would ya? You’re making a bad name for all the other stupid people out there who aren’t as stupid as you.

Stu Smart Enough for Mensa, but Still Dumber Than a 2 Year Old

Hey, don’t laugh! You think you’re smarter than a two-year old? Well, you better have an IQ greater than 152!

Two year old girl joins MENSAThis is not a joke people. A two year old girl has officially tested with an IQ of 152, and has recently become the youngest female ever to join MENSA, the high IQ society. She joins just 29 other MENSA members under the age of ten. MENSA membership is by invitation only, and requires that you score 130 or higher on an officially approved IQ test, thereby placing you as one of the top 2% “smartest” people in the world.

There are different types of IQ tests, so you must take a MENSA approved one in order to be considered for membership. When you hear people talking about their IQ being some outrageous number like 190 or 230, this is not from a MENSA test, and they are almost certainly lying… Stephen Hawking’s IQ is estimated to be about 160. What great mysteries have the 200 IQ claimers solved in their life? Why aren’t they out curing cancer or rewriting the laws of physics or something?

Why is Stephen Hawking’s IQ estimated? Because he’s never taken an IQ test before. When asked in an interview what his IQ was, Dr. Hawking responded, “I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.”

Which is exactly why I won’t boast about mine by posting it here:

Stu's IQ Test Score

“Stu, you said you weren’t going to boast, and yet here you are displaying your IQ test results high enough to join those snobby MENSA types!”

Uhh… did I mention that I’m dumber than a two-year old? I’m not boasting. That would make me a loser! Besides, I’m sure that everybody who reads my blog is smarter than me ;)

So the question now becomes, “Stu, if you’re so smart, why’d you fail half your high school classes and drop out of college?” My answer? Well, I worked the system to graduate high school (it was way easier than actually doing all that work!) As for college… umm. I’m too smart for college. Yeah, that’s it!

Want to find out if you’re smarter than a two-year old? Take the same test I did at GIQTest.com. It is the most accurate online IQ test. If you’ve taken that stupid Tickle IQ test, you’ll find that GIQ is much more accurate. Afterall, according to Tickle I’m a genius (which even I’m smart enough to contest!):

The GIQ test has been compared and corrected against hundreds of real-life proctored IQ tests, making it accurate to within 4%, meaning that if I were to take a real IQ test I could expect to score between 127 and 137 (probably more towards the lower end).The GIQ test is free to take, but costs $10 to get your results, so keep that in mind. Last thing you want to do is waste time taking the test then decide you don’t want to fork over the $10. Personally, I think if you’re willing to pay $10 to take an online IQ test, it automatically knocks 20 points off your IQ. That makes me even dumber than I thought!

It would be easy to cheat on the GIQ test because it is online and self monitored. But if you’re going to pay $10 for it, don’t you want to know your real IQ level?

Anyway, if anybody else is as dumb as me and wants to fork over the $10 to take the test, feel free to respond with your test results. I have a feeling I’m gonna get owned!

Oh, and if you score lower than me, don’t feel bad. A score of 100 is average, and you have to score below 70 to be considered “mildly” retarded. And honestly, if you score below 100, you’re in good company with some of history’s greatest warriors, heroes, and rulers. Have fun!