Tag Archives: bumper stickers

Research Shows Bumper Stickers Equal Psychotic People

In the never-ending scientific research to better understand why some people are stupid, a lot of attention has been focused on road ragers whose logic seems, well, illogical.

Captain Kirk gets road rage

Road ragers are often hypocrites — tailgating others then slamming on their brakes when they are tailgated, cutting people off then giving the bird when honked at but giving the bird and honking if they are ever cut off, trashing Utah drivers when they themselves are a Utah driver (yet all the while proclaiming their immunity to the “Utah driver” moniker), not using their turn signal but throwing fits when others do the same… the list is endless.

And thanks to the great American tradition of spending money on pointless studies, scientists at Colorado State University have discovered and revealed in a recently published paper that drivers who plaster their cars with bumper stickers are more likely to have issues with road rage.

Come on now. Is this really news? You’re driving down the street and you see a car with something like, “I Brake for Nekkid Chicks” or “Keep Honking, I’ll Deal With You When I’m Done Yanking My Chain,” and you instantly understand the dope-hat behind the wheel isn’t particularly bright.

Now, while I don’t believe those geniuses down at CSU included this bit in their publication, I’m fairly certain that their research found that anybody with the bumper sticker of “We Love Stu!” is a happy, content, loved-by-everybody-and-would-never-commit-road-rage all around awesome person.