Belated Christmas Post

Yeah, you know I can’t let Christmas just slip past me without making some rant about it. So, here is my rather belated Christmas post. Enjoy!

As much as I rant and rave about not liking Christmas every year, there always seem to be a few people who insist on defying my wishes and end up getting me a gift. Here are a few of the things I received, supposedly from a Saint in a church that I don’t even believe in (Saint Nick, just in case you didn’t know who I’m talking about).

Dal Negro Plastic Poker Cards
These are totally sweet. I’ve been eyeballing a set of these bad boys for about a year now. Problem was, I already had two sets of KEM cards, and simply couldn’t justify the $20+ it would cost me to get what is essentially an inferior set of cards.

Well, it might have been nicer to just receive $20 in cash, but I pretty much would have spent the money eating out at Arby’s or something. So things are better this way. Now if I could just get my hands on some Gemaco cards.

Mini Planetarium
Every year, I tell my wife to not spend money on me. If there’s something that I want, I’ll go out and get it myself. And every year, my wife defies my wishes and gets me something.

I would totally love something like this if it actually worked well, so I’m gonna try real hard to get some use out of this. Now if only I could get my hands on a 30” Schmidt-Cassegrain telescope.

LED Headlight
This thing is sweet! I wear it all the time. You know, just in case I’m wandering around and find myself in a cave. But seriously, I love it. Now if I could only get my hands on a FN P90 so I can go do some night hunting.

Video iPod
This came from my boss. Yeah, I know, you wish you had a boss as cool as mine. But you DON’T! Yep, sucks for you.

The beauty of this Christmas gift is that my boss is Jewish… that and my gift to him was a couple of peanut butter cookies. I know what you’re thinking: Stu, you gave somebody a Christmas gift?! In my defense, my wife made me do it.

I was actually hoping he would break out the dreidel on me. I need to keep up on my gambling skills.

Kris Kringle DVD
My older brother, who presented this gift to me from him and his family, apparently doesn’t realize my incredible hatred for the symbols, especially Kris Kringle, Santa Clause, St. Nicholas, and so forth that detracts from our Lord and Savior. But I’m sure my kids will love it.

I once read, “I love Santa Claus with all my heart because he represents Christ.”

SAY WHAT?!

Begin rant. Stand tall soldiers!

Hey, whatever makes you feel better about worshipping a jolly fat man in a red suit that practices slave labor and is apparently bigoted against dwarves with pointy ears.

I love my country, not a piece of cloth. I don’t worship my country’s flag. I would not be willing to die for it. For what it represents, yes. For a piece of cloth? No.

If Santa Claus asked you to die for him, would you accept? Personally, if Santa Claus got anywhere near me I’d KICK HIM IN THE CROTCH!

Furthermore, since when does Santa Clause symbolize Christ? I don’t see the relation. I choose to love Christ, not a jolly fat man that has nothing to do with Him. No offense to my Catholic friends out there, nor to St. Nicholas who I’m sure was a good man. But do you honestly think St. Nicholas would dare claim, after being grossly twisted into what we know as Santa Claus, to be the symbol of Christ?

End rant. Carry on! Umm… and Merry freakin’ Christmas!

One thought on “Belated Christmas Post

  1. Johnny Bravo

    Dude it’s MAY and you havent posted. I request that you blog about the infallibility of the most perfect car in the world. The Mustang…. Oh and by the by yea you can use my stuff, but why the name change??

    Reply

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