Halt the war in Iraq! Forget the Taliban in Afghanistan! Stop sending food to starving children in Africa!
There is a far greater problem among us, and we must destroy this threat immediately! Left unchecked, over 60,000 people will continue being murdered every year, with the number increasing annually, by this hideous, evil, pernicious, heinous, nefarious, Mephistophelian (yes, I just said Mephistophelian) threat to human kind.
Those who don’t die from its evil death ray end up suffering cataracts, even blindness! What is this unspeakable horror? I untractably present…
Yes, that’s right. According the the World Health Organization (WHO), the sun kills more than 60,000 people every year, and leaves thousands more with cataracts and even blindness! Astonishing. And here I thought the sun was our ally. Now I find that it is our oldest enemy.
Write your congressman and senator today! DESTROY THE SUN!