Uniting With My Fellow Depressed Bloggers

I was browsing around some of the other blogger.com blogs here in my home town of Orem. I was quite astonished at what I found!

Apparently most bloggers are a rather depressed people, using their blogs to talk about why they’re depressed and explain how the whole world hates them. Despite the lack of logic or common sense in their rantings, I was starting to feel left out.

I mean, I’m a blogger and I’m in Orem, so why aren’t I so depressed about life? It could be that I’m nigh 32 years old and have just learned that life sucks and to deal with it. Maybe I just don’t remember the depressing teenage years when we were all depressed for absolutely no reason. I mean if teenagers had any idea how much more difficult life was going to get for them, then they’d all probably just kill themselves on the spot.

But I digress, on with why the world hates me and I have every right to be depressed…

This guy I work with thinks that I, along with my wife, my parents, my two brothers, nearly all my in-laws, about half the people I’ve ever worked with in my life, President Bush (and probably every U.S. president before him), about 90% of all college students, 59 of the 60 members in my USMC basic training platoon, and Hugh Hefner should all be thrown in jail. Why? Because we all fornicated. Now I know fornication is bad, but jail, where I’m likely to wind some bad man’s girlfriend?

But that’s okay. I just referred to him as a flippin’ fetcher and called it even.

Let’s see, what else?

I get cutoff several times a day while I’m driving. They must all hate me.

My neighbor and landlord waved at me and, with a smile on his face, told me, “Good morning!” He’s a hypocrite because I’m sure he hates me.

The checker down at the Burger King wasn’t smiling when she asked me for my order. She must hate me… *sigh*

My parents raised me, put a roof over my head, kept me clothed, and kept me fed. But my dad left me every day to go to work. He must’ve really hated me… *really deep sigh*

It was raining this morning. Mother Nature hates me.

Maybe I’ll just move to Canada. Everybody there loves everybody else I hear… BWAH HAHAHA!!! Okay, I can’t keep a straight face when I talk about Canada. Sorry to all the Canooks out there eh!

What was I talking about again?

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