I remember a time when you would visit the Sconecutter in Orem late at night (which I often did back in the day when I worked graveyards) and there would be several questionable looking fellows working the drive thru. Thing was, these long-haired druggy looking freaks took the greatest of care in putting your order together. No finer sandwiches were ever built!
But now, thanks to a little economic downturn, more people are willing to accept the graveyard shift what with employment opportunities being limited. This has resulted in “cleaner” looking persons being hired to run the graveyard shift at the Sconecutter.
No sooner had the Sconecutter begun to hire these “cleaner” looking (albeit, I’ve noticed, far less professional) persons when the service started to go to pot (uh, as in bad, not as in the employees were smoking pot… that probably would have been a good thing).
An actual conversation that my wife had with the drive-thru operator on August 31, 2009 at approximately 22:00 hours (that’s 10 pm for all you weirdos out there) as best as I can recall:
Us: Hi, I’d like a ham, egg, and cheese platter on white with spicy fries and a Dr. Pepper.
Them: Ok, in a platter?
Them: Spicy or regular fries?
Them: What drink?
Us: Dr. Pepper.
Them: Okay, what half sandwich did you want?
In all the years that my wife and I had eaten at the Sconecutter, we had never heard of any menu item called a “half sandwich”
Them: What half sandwich did you want?
This naturally confused my wife because she hadn’t ordered a “half sandwich”
Us: Uh… what half sandwich?
Them: You know, [rattles off some of the sandwich items from the menu].
Us: Oh. Ham, egg, and cheese.
Them: White or wheat bread?
Them: Anything else?
Us: A honey-butter scone on white.
Them: A cinnamon honey-butter scone?
Us: No, a honey-butter scone. Just honey butter.
Them: Okay, a cinnamon honey-butter scone. White or wheat?
Us: No, just honey butter.
Them: Okay, honey-butter scone. Wheat bread?
Us: No, white.
Them: Okay, so I’ve got a ham, egg, and cheese half sandwich in a platter with spicy fries and a Dr. Pepper and one cinnamon honey-butter scone?
Us: *SIGH* Yes.
Turns out a half-sandwich, as you might have guessed, is a kid-sized sandwich, more like a third of a sandwich. So I ate that in about three bites and tried to enjoy my Dr. Pepper and fries while my wife ate her cinnamon honey-butter scone.
To the Sconecutter in Orem I say, “Bring back the questionable-looking sandwich makers! They always got my order right and always made my sandwich look like the picture!”