The Foolishness of a FaceBook “Intelligence” Quiz

So I saw that a FaceBook friend of mine had taken a FaceBook intelligence quiz and got the result of “genius.” Personally, I hate FaceBook quizzes and so generally try to ignore them. However, that there was one that supposedly tested your intelligence… well, I simply couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make fun of it!

So I took the quiz and got the result of “pretty smart,” and was told that I got “most of them right.” Okay, right off the bat, you should know that there are only eight questions to this quiz. And I’m pretty sure I got them all right. Which means the person who created the quiz couldn’t even pass his/her own quiz and therefore shouldn’t be judging the intelligence of others.

Yes, yes. I know they are just for fun. But the way I have fun is not by taking the quiz, but by making fun of it afterward. So here we go.

I took screen shots of the actual quiz with my answers. And, remembering the saying that, “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and let others think you a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt,” I’m going to take the risk and open my mouth about why my answers are correct and make fun of the quiz-maker’s intelligence along the way.

dumb FaceBook quiz 1

Okay, to start things off, two fish drown, how many are left? Drowning implies death by suffocation while submerged in liquid. My presumption was that the fish died from a lack of oxygen in the water they were in, although it could have been from being submerged in molten lead. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that they are dead. Well, actually, that doesn’t matter either.

Even though the fish are dead, they are still there. Therefore the answer is two. Hmm… actually, if they drown in molten lead, they were probably vaporized and are no longer there. Something to think about!

Question number two tries to confuse you with words. An intelligent person would have simply said, “This man is my son.” And I just now realized I got that question wrong, despite knowing that it’s a father and son. I’m an idiot.

Question three. Obviously 200 pounds. 100+200*1/2=100+100=200. Easy.

dumb FaceBook quiz 2

Question 4. I’m not sure why he/she capitalized “philanthropy,” but whatever. Philanthropy is defined as “altruistic concern for human welfare and advancement.” That being the case, “caring” could be an appropriate answer to the question. “Carring,” which is not even a word, not so much.

Question 5. “Which ways more.” Huh? What does it mean to have something “way” more than another? At this point, you realize that either the quiz maker is an idiot, or is such a genius that you are the idiot for not being able to understand him or her. I’ll presume the prior. At any rate, assuming the quiz maker meant to say “Which weighs more…” and also meant to use proper grammar, a pound of anything weighs the same as a pound of anything else. Easy.

Question 6. Be tough to not get this one right. Thanks to current economic conditions, I’ve actually been keeping up with the prices of precious metals and already knew that silver is worth a tiny fraction of gold’s value, while the price of platinum is very close to that of gold. So I knew the answer was “16 oz. of gold” without needing to look it up. But if you really want to get into it, at the time I took the quiz the values of each were:

  • 30 oz. silver: $381.98
  • 16 oz. gold: $14,593.46
  • 2 oz. platinum: $2,387.51

Wow, looks like the price of platinum has gone up over $250/oz. since I last checked! Might be time to increase your platinum stores!

Last two questions:

dumb FaceBook quiz 3

Question 7. Well, since the quiz maker didn’t bother with a statement about which to judge to be true or false, I assumed whichever answer I selected would be correct, which is true, so I selected “true.” Note the quiz maker’s excellent grammar skills on the last option for the question.

Question 8. The meaning of the universe is actually, “the totality of known or supposed objects and phenomena.” In other words, everything that is perceivable — or, more simply, everything.

Since the quiz maker doesn’t know the meaning of the universe, the real question is, “What does the maker of this quiz THINK is the meaning of the universe?” I’m no mind reader, but I guessed “life.” Seemed to fit the actual definition the best as without life, there is no one to perceive what is, and if there is no person or thing to perceive what is, then its existence has no meaning and therefore isn’t… philosophically speaking.

Well… that was fun!

3 thoughts on “The Foolishness of a FaceBook “Intelligence” Quiz

  1. Stu

    Beauty! So my wife (who just posted above) was rated “Genius” for getting all the questions “correct.” Which, based on her answer for question 3, obviously was not the case. Further proof that the quiz-maker was high on drugs when he/she created it.

    Also, my sense of humor is pretty sophisticated (or so I like to think) and so I failed to see any humor is questions in 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

    However, now that I think about it, I think “Chuck Norris” is the clear answer for the final question.

    Reply
  2. Meadow

    I started this quiz hoping it would be realistic but realized quickly that it was going for humor. I guess it was a test of my true genius, to see if I could be funny and smart, ha.

    1. I was going to say 2, but then I thought “fish drown?” would be funnier, so I went with that.

    2. father and son

    3. 150 lbs, he weighs 100 + half his weight, which would be 50, so 150 lbs.

    4. 5 and 6 I got the same answers as you

    7 I’m an optimist so I say true, though I was able to ignore the grammar :P

    8, I also said Life

    You just gotta learn to play the game, stroke the ego of the writer and you’ll be rated higher. Genius like me :P

    Reply
  3. Capri

    Well it’s pretty sad when people take stale old stuff, put it into a Facebook application and call it an intelligence quiz. I found your article far more entertaining than any dumb online quiz or Facebook application.

    Reply

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