Science Proves That Scratching Stops Itching

Doctors and scientists are an interesting bunch. If they can’t prove scientifically that something is true, well, they have a hard time believing it. If they were to see an elaborate snow sculpture of an enticing mermaid teasing onlookers, they would first assume it appeared there purely from natural causes until evidence that a person created it was brought forth.

And thus we are brought to the itch. We all feel it. We all scratch when we do. We all know that so doing provides relief. Or does it? If nobody knows how the scratch provides relief, does it actually do so? I’ll be honest… I have to wonder.

When I was going through military basic training, you weren’t allowed to touch yourself, ever. If a bug was crawling up your nose while you stood in formation, tough luck. You had an itch? There was no scratching. Funny thing happened after a few weeks of not scratching itches. I stopped itching. I was left to wonder if the itching ever actually existed. But then I was sent home and… what do you know? I started getting itches again, which I would quite hastily scratch.

One itchy monkeyWell, my dilemma is over! Thanks to the volunteer work of lab monkeys who agreed to be cut up, science is one step closer to proving the method in which scratching provides relief! There now, doesn’t that make you feel better? Scratch away America!

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