So I’ve recently had “the talk” with my tween daughter. You know… the birds, the bees and the thing about how the queen bee hooks up with the drones at the local bee bar and gets an STD because she was sleeping around with strange drones and not using protection? Yeah. It’s a little uncomfortable. But definitely necessary, especially these days.
Remember back to your sex education talks with your parents? I thought not. Most people from my generation didn’t discuss that kind of stuff with their parents. Some of us turned out okay, others… well, we got some strange answers to our questions about the big naughty.
That’s part of the reason I felt it was so important for me to get over my own discomfort on the subject and have the chat with my kids when they got old enough, and make sure I keep an open dialogue with them throughout. I have a friend whose sex ed consisted of his mother leaving the encyclopedia out, opened to the “sex” entry. I suppose if that’s the best you can do, then the modern equivalent would be to hit up HealthGuru.com and leave your computer open to their sex health page.
One way or another, your kids are going to learn about sex. Whether they get honest, truthful information or the weird crap that our generation got through the grapevine is up to you.
You hear the one about how you can’t get pregnant your first time as long as you’re laying on your back? It’s gone through a bit of a twist. My daughter told me that she heard you can’t get pregnant until you’ve had sex at least 4 times. Yikes!
I remember being 10 or so and hearing that if a girl didn’t have sex during her period, she would die. Sounds absolutely crazy, I know, but to a 10 year old who doesn’t know any different, I was just like, “Wow!”
And what about getting STD’s. My understanding back in the day was that only guys could get HIV and only by having anal sex with another guy. Oh boy… that’s some dangerous (lack of) knowledge!
Here’s another good one. Every time you masturbate, your yang curves a little more. Boy if that were true, every guy in the world would have something shaped like a snail shell down there. We’d also all be blind!
Semen is red, douching afterwards is as effective as abstinence, urinating afterwards would prevent pregnancy, you can only get pregnant doing it “doggy” style… all untrue, but believed by many in my youth.
What are some of the oddest ideas you were given regarding sex growing up? This ought to be good for a laugh!