The New New American Dream

Ah yes. The American dream. It used to go something like this:

  1. Immigrate to America, land of promise
  2. Start a business and work hard
  3. Profit!

Then, thanks largely to a Ms. Liebeck (lady who spilled McDonald’s coffee on herself and sued for millions), the new American dream became:

  1. Visit a large, powerful, but most importantly wealthy corporation
  2. Intentionally injure yourself while on the property or using something obtained from the corporation
  3. Find a sleazy lawyer
  4. Profit!

But now, the American dream has been taken to a whole new level. You may have heard about one Tina Sherman. She purportedly took nude photos of herself and sent them to her husband’s cell phone. Her husband, which sources say isn’t the brightest tool in the shed (nor even the sharpest bulb), left the phone at a McDonalds.

The husband calls the McDonald’s and asks them to secure it for him. And apparently it takes the guy a few weeks to finally retrieve his phone because an employee supposedly took the phone and posted the nude photos on the web along with Tina’s phone number and address.

Tina, before her husband can get back to the McDonald’s to retrieve his phone, starts receiving text messages from people who “like what they see.”

So Tina and Co. file suit against McDonald’s for $3 million. But there’s a hitch (actually, a few):

  • McDonald’s isn’t the one that took the nude photos
  • They aren’t the ones that were stupid enough to leave the phone lying around with nude photos of their wife on it
  • Umm… oh yeah — this is the big one — IT’S A SCAM!

Seems that the photos of Tina Sherman don’t exist, nor does the website where the photos were reportedly posted. What does this all mean? The new new American Dream is:

  1. Get to know some sleazy person that works for a large, powerful, but most importantly wealthy corporation
  2. In cahoots with the sleazy corporate employee, setup a not-so-elaborate or well-thought out scheme
  3. Find a REALLY sleazy lawyer
  4. Profit!

So it didn’t work out this go around. But maybe in a few more years, when people are even dumber than they are today, the scam will work. The Sherman’s? They’re just ahead of their time.

2 thoughts on “The New New American Dream

  1. Stu

    Ah yes, the finger-in-the-chili trick. I remember those times as well. Which, in turn, reminds me of the bird’s foot a friend of mine found in his school-lunch cinnamon roll back in our high school days. I never ate in the school cafeteria again after that.

    Too bad the lawsuit craze hadn’t started yet, or he could have made himself a millionaire! On the other hand, considering how poor our school district was, maybe not.

  2. Bryce

    This reminds of the equally sleazily inclined peeps that faked a finger in their Wendy’s chili a while back because their Nevada house was under foreclosure. I’d hate to see it now. Anyhow, they somehow got hold of the finger of a friend of a friend who had it bitten off by a tiger and doused it with beef and beans from the yellow cup. Then as if by magic, a lawsuit appeared seeking compensation. Some people.


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