A Confederate Impresses Me

So I’m on my way to work this morning when I pull behind some kind of little SUV looking thing. It had a nice little Confederate flag stuck to its bumper.

“Hey, a champion of state rights!” I say to myself.

Sure to his defiance of federal law, he sped right through a school zone doing about 30 mph. Sure he put the lives of little children in danger, but it’s well worth it to stick it to the feds!

If only I were as brave as this man… I simply care too much for the lives of children (having three of them myself), so I slowed down.

I caught back up to the proud Confederate at a stop sign a few blocks later. That’s when I noticed something a bit strange. This guy was driving Suzuki!

Now tell me, what kind of proud American that bleeds Confederate blood would be driving around in a foreign piece of garbage I ask you? Then I noticed something else that allowed me to forgive him for his blatant display of antipatriotism. The following was written on his back window:

Four 4×4

“Four Sale”??? As in the number “4″? Okay, the guy was obviously a southerner, thus mentally retarded or something. Probably had an IQ somewhere around 12. This was later confirmed by several “questionable” maneuvers he made while driving. You can’t really blame a southerner for being stupid, so I allowed him a pass for driving a foreign vehicle.

One thought on “A Confederate Impresses Me

  1. freak

    Believe it or not I observed a “for sale” sign the other day on a Ford Ranger that actually said….(Drum roll)… “FOR SAIL.”
    I guess it is just to hard to ge it right sometimes.

    Reply

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