Stu Gets Reprieve as God Gets Tied Up in Lawsuit

Wow. Things sure have turned around recently. You may remember that I was convinced some greater power was out to get me. Well, things quite suddenly started working out, leaving me wondering just what was going on.

The $600 I owed UVSC? Turns out my wife’s financial aid adviser is just incredibly lazy. When my wife called her (which, in and of itself is quite a task, since they are “so busy” all the time) to see if there was anything we could do to reduce the tuition we owed, the answer was more swift than Jamie Gold’s exit from this year’s WSOP:

“There’s nothing we can do.”

Well, after a quick call to a friend who happened to be a financial aid adviser at the same place, a simple search on my wife’s profile quickly yielded a scholarship that not only paid for the remaining tuition owed, but resulted in a $350 excess that we were able to bank!

Furthermore, my shoulder and bicep seem to have healed up without any problems so I hit the driving range at Cascade Fairways, the lost Netflix DVD managed to make it back to the Netflix warehouse, I found a new place to get free air for my car tires, and I just went out and got me some contact lenses for the first time since 2002. Life suddenly got much better!

So what happened? Had the gods grown bored with me? Was I not entertaining enough for them? Did they feel threatened by the publicity brought about by my blog post? Frankly, I didn’t really care. I was just happy that things were getting better.

Then I found out that Nebraska legislator, Ernie Chambers, is suing the Almighty Himself. Well, I can understand the hassle getting sued would cause… enough to divert attention from me. But as for Ernie, suing the very being who holds your eternal judgment in his hands? Not the brightest thing he could’ve done.

Whatever I did to deserve the run of misery last week, let me just say that it’s nothing compared to what our pal Ernie is gonna get. Ernie, it’s been nice knowing you. Enjoy your immortal life in Hell!

Ernie Sues God, Ends Up in Hell

One thought on “Stu Gets Reprieve as God Gets Tied Up in Lawsuit

  1. Pingback: God Responds to Ernie, Uses Loophole to Avoid Suit « Rantings of Stu

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>