Don’t Believe in a Higher Power? You’ve got to Be Kidding Me!

Zeus is pissed!So usually things go pretty well for me. At least, well enough that I can’t really complain. Just a few years ago I was supporting my family of five on little more than Washington State’s minimum wage. I wasn’t just below the poverty line, I was so far below it that I couldn’t see it and came to believe that this mystical line was just an urban myth.

Over the years, I gradually crawled my way into a better position. Today, I’m almost as far over the poverty line as I was below it. I drive a new car, own a home, watch cable TV, and my family eats as much as they want.

But then just a couple weeks ago I run over a screw in my car, puncturing one of the rear tires. I take it in for repair. The very next day, the same tire gets punctured again. This time when I take it in, the repairman shows me that my tires are nearly bald and need replacement. A week later I buy my first set of (cheap) golf clubs, something I had been wanting to do for several years.

I hit the golf course and nearly shred my bicep to pieces and jack up my shoulder. Then my son, throwing rocks around for some weird reason, puts a nice couple of dents in the hood of my car. That night, I have a dream that I get fired from my job. The day after, a Netflix DVD that I was really looking forward to watching is cracked. The next day I discover that the local college has “adjusted” my wife’s pell grant and I now owe them $600 to make up the difference in a charge of $1,200 for one – yep, I said ONE – class!

At work, suddenly the entire company seems to need my services and they all want it done by Wednesday, and I come home to find that a dog has crapped all over my lawn, my toilet won’t flush right, and the USPS delivered the mailing label for my next Netflix DVD but somehow managed to lose the DVD itself!

Furthermore, I need to put air in my car’s tires but every place that I used to get air at for free is suddenly charging $0.75. Not that it’s all that bad (but seriously now… it’s just air!) but I don’t carry cash! This is 2007 for crying out loud… put a *$#@! credit card machine on the air pump if you’re going to charge for it!

Desktop Tower DefenseAnd to top it all off, a friend and coworker has completely slaughtered my high score in Desktop Tower Defense.

Now look me in the eyes and, with a straight face, tell me the gods aren’t just having some sick fun with me. But hey, at least I’m not shoveling horse manure, in the rain, on the graveyard shift.

3 thoughts on “Don’t Believe in a Higher Power? You’ve got to Be Kidding Me!

  1. Pingback: Stu Gets Reprieve as God Gets Tied Up in Lawsuit « Rantings of Stu

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