Monthly Archives: January 2009

Want to Get Super Rich? Some Tips from Someone Who Already Is

Gimme a pile-o-cash!So you’re tired of working for the man and just want to get super rich so you can at long last retire at the ripe old age of 40 (maybe 30?!) and enjoy your life.

Lucky for you, super-rich dude Felix Dennis is willing to tell you how in this article. Just how super rich is Felix? Well, he has so much damn money, he doesn’t even know how much. The only thing he knows for sure is that his net worth is more than $400 million but less than…

Wait a minute, he’s worth at least $400 million?! Well crap on my face and call me disgusted! If you’re worth a half billion at the low end, who freaking cares after that, huh?

Anyway, if you can’t stand the thought of leaving my blog to go read the article (and, frankly, I wouldn’t blame you), you’re in luck. I did read it, and here are some of the high points:

Want to be wealthier than your neighbor? You have to take his wealth and give it to yourself.

Pretty basic, right? There’s a reason so much stuff is made in China… super cheap labor. I guarantee you the guys working in the sweat shops over there aren’t living anywhere near the lifestyle that the average American that works a measely 40 hours per week is.

You want to sell a product? The cheaper you can get it, the greater your profits will be. So you get it manufactured cheaply in China. Guess what? You are essentially taking away a decent lifestyle from the Chinese workers so you can gain more wealth.

Sound harsh? Well, the truth often is. The richer you get, the poorer someone else becomes.

Now, I had someone disagree with me once on this point. He said to me, “High tide floats all boats.” That’s true, but your boat’s elevation over your neighbor’s doesn’t increase because of high tide. That only happens when you take water away from your neighbor and put it in your own pool.

If everybody is a millionaire, then nobody is wealthy. Wealth comes from having more than others. Want to be wealthier than others? Then you have to take it from them.

Screw Having a Great Idea. Focus on Execution

Many many (many) moons ago, I had the idea to sell discount travel packages and cruises to auto dealerships that they could give away to new customers as an incentive to buy. It was a pretty good idea I thought, especially since there were no dealerships in my area offering any incentive like it.

My execution? Direct mail all the local dealers a quick pitch of my idea. One dealer called me to request that I mail in more detailed information, so I did. I never followed up.

A couple years later, that same dealer that called me was offering cruise packages with the purchase of a new car. But they definitely weren’t getting their cruise tickets from me!

A couple years after that, I met a guy who sold travel packages to auto dealers for a living. He was making six figures a year from it.

So what did he do differently from me? Was his idea better than mine? No, our ideas were nearly identical. Was he just lucky and I wasn’t? No. The reality is his execution was far superior to mine.

Bright ideas are overatedNo, Really. Screw the Great Idea

Felix relates a story of an idea he had that he thought was so great, he dumped tens of millions of dollars in to it and continued to do so even after it had obviously failed. He was so convinced of the greatness of his idea, he just couldn’t let it go.

After You’ve Attained Amazing Success, Give Your Money Away

Felix never says why you should do this. But in my experience, I’ve learned that the most successful people in life give tremendous amounts of money to great causes, and they all recommend that you do the same if you want to be rich.

So what have I learned about making money? Just a few tidbits here and there. I’ll keep at it with my many internet home businesses and eek out what I can. Oh yeah, and I’ll try to bump up my charitable donations.

The New New American Dream

Ah yes. The American dream. It used to go something like this:

  1. Immigrate to America, land of promise
  2. Start a business and work hard
  3. Profit!

Then, thanks largely to a Ms. Liebeck (lady who spilled McDonald’s coffee on herself and sued for millions), the new American dream became:

  1. Visit a large, powerful, but most importantly wealthy corporation
  2. Intentionally injure yourself while on the property or using something obtained from the corporation
  3. Find a sleazy lawyer
  4. Profit!

But now, the American dream has been taken to a whole new level. You may have heard about one Tina Sherman. She purportedly took nude photos of herself and sent them to her husband’s cell phone. Her husband, which sources say isn’t the brightest tool in the shed (nor even the sharpest bulb), left the phone at a McDonalds.

The husband calls the McDonald’s and asks them to secure it for him. And apparently it takes the guy a few weeks to finally retrieve his phone because an employee supposedly took the phone and posted the nude photos on the web along with Tina’s phone number and address.

Tina, before her husband can get back to the McDonald’s to retrieve his phone, starts receiving text messages from people who “like what they see.”

So Tina and Co. file suit against McDonald’s for $3 million. But there’s a hitch (actually, a few):

  • McDonald’s isn’t the one that took the nude photos
  • They aren’t the ones that were stupid enough to leave the phone lying around with nude photos of their wife on it
  • Umm… oh yeah — this is the big one — IT’S A SCAM!

Seems that the photos of Tina Sherman don’t exist, nor does the website where the photos were reportedly posted. What does this all mean? The new new American Dream is:

  1. Get to know some sleazy person that works for a large, powerful, but most importantly wealthy corporation
  2. In cahoots with the sleazy corporate employee, setup a not-so-elaborate or well-thought out scheme
  3. Find a REALLY sleazy lawyer
  4. Profit!

So it didn’t work out this go around. But maybe in a few more years, when people are even dumber than they are today, the scam will work. The Sherman’s? They’re just ahead of their time.

3 to 4 Inches of Snow…

So, the weatherman said that we were going to get 3 to 4 inches of snow today. Here’s a picture of my extremely short sons in that 3 to 4 inches of snow:

I got your 3 to 4 inches right here!

The snow start coming down pretty light yesterday afternoon. And the crazy thing is, it never stopped. It may have been light, but it was certainly consistent. It hasn’t stopped since it started and, as of this writing, is still coming down.

Mr. Ruler’s tally so far:

Mr. Ruler says 10 1/2 inches

Stu is Awesome, and I Can Prove It

You’ve heard me say it before. Stu is awesome.

But how can you know that I’m telling the truth? Because I said so here, on my blog, which is on the internet. And, as you know, if something is on the internet it is irrefutable.

But don’t just take my word for it. This blog also says it. They even mention it on this discussion board (second post on that page).

I know what you’re thinking. But Stu, that whole saying about if it’s on the internet is just a sarcastic joke because there is so much untruth on the internet!

Yeah, I used to think that too. But then I found this:

Proof that it's all true

And the best part of it all? I found that image on the internet! That makes it irrefutably irrefutable!

Second Life Hits Too Close to First Life

A little over a year ago, a Dutch teenager was arrested for stealing furniture from somebody. Well, sort of. See, the furniture wasn’t real. It was virtual furniture, Habbo Hotel (kind of a European Second Life) style.

It’s a weird story. You really ought to read it. But things get weirder.

I know what you’re saying. “Stu, people actually fork over money for furniture that doesn’t really exist?!” Yes, it’s true.

But this just tops it all. While the Dutch are busy moving non-existent furniture from one non-existent room to another non-existent room, here in America real people  are paying virtual money (which is usually obtained by being purchased using real money) to have a virtual person in a virtual world sleep with a virtual prostitute.

Get a REAL life would you?

Oh, but it gets better. The real person in control of the virtual person that virtually slept with the virtual prostitute? His real wife found out about the non-existent affair and divorced him… non-virtually. That is to say, for real.

Are you as confused as I am? Read the story. Maybe it’ll make sense to you.

A Cat’s Christmas

You may recall that we picked up a couple cats from the local Humane Society back in March. Well, this was out first Christmas with these guys.

Turns out that our siamese, Snake, wasn’t too keen on the human holiday. But Dax, our tortoise shell (and extra-toed mutant), enjoyed her gift of catnip on the fingers and Air Hog RC helicopter.

Sorry about the crappy quality. The camera is just an el-cheapo.

A Big Thank You to All the Blog Comment Spammers Out There

Yep. You know who you are.

Why am I thanking you? It’s weird, I know. You’re probably accustomed to being hated. But here’s the thing. Can you ever hate some one who is so mentally devoid that they can’t seem to do anything correctly for themselves?

Here’s a typical spam post on my blog:

Spammers = Low IQ

As you can see, placing “Nice site,” at the beginning is the smartest thing they can do to try and trick me into allowing the comment.

Now, my blog isn’t particularly hugely popular (I know, I know… I’ve bragged about it’s viewership in the past. I was just trying to make my lowly self feel better :( ) so when I saw these spam comments, I’d just delete them.

Then one day, I got 60 spam comments. I thought to my self, “Wow! I’m more popular than I thought!” Sure, there are some blogs that get a dozen spam every five minutes; but for me, getting 60 in one day was a major turning point in my life.

No longer did I get so little spam that they were simply a minor annoyance. Now, suddenly, my blog was attracting enough spam to make it a headache! Thus I finally installed Akismet.

So thank you comment spammers for getting me to do what I should have done years ago!