Monthly Archives: February 2007

Personal Minesweeper Records

I’m almost embarassed to admit this, but I play Minesweeper on occassion. I have spats where I’ll play it a lot for a while, then put it away and go months, even years, without playing it.

Well, I’ve been on a run recently and I thought I’d put up my most recent records for the world to see. Why am I doing this? Umm… I’m not really sure. It’s been a slow week. Here’s a screenshot of my current records:

I’ve heard that you’re not even considered a decent “sweeper” (that’s what the true Minesweeper geeks call themselves) unless your combined time for all three levels is less than 60 seconds.

SIXTY SECONDS?! Don’t expect that I’ll ever reach Minesweeper geekdom and be considered a true “sweeper.” The following video shows the current world champion sweeper in action. He has written that he played Minesweeper 6 hours per day to perfect his skills. Ummm… thanks, but you can keep your sweeper-geek status to yourselves. I have things to do… like HAVE A LIFE!

Now that’s what I call ridiculous. Like I said, it’s been a slow week.

Things That Makes Doba Great

Those who know me understand that I absolutely love the company I work for. A couple of weeks after I started working there, I knew it was something special. A friend of mine referred me to a job that paid about 50% more hourly; but with overtime, which was plentiful, it turned out to be about 140% more.

I told the guy, “Forget it. I’m never leaving Doba!”

Foolish? After three years at Doba (my anniversary was February 1) I would dare say… not even close!

What makes it the awesomest place in the world to work?

The environment. We get a lot done, but it hardly feels like work at all. And I consider my coworkers to be good friends, some of the finest people anywhere. My boss is no exception. Despite being a very driven manager, he spoils me to no end, and I have learned a ton under his tutelage.

The founders. You won’t find a more enthusiastic and fun-loving executive team anywhere in the world! I work hard for them because I want them to succeed just as badly as they want me to succeed.

The perks. Thanks to my 3 years of service, I now get 4 weeks and one day of paid vacation this year! I also receive unit options that make me part owner in the company. The company covers somewhere on the order of 75% of my health and dental insurance costs. And we get REAL no-deductible dental insurance from Met Life, not one of those crappy “dental plans.”

Doba Day. This annual founder’s day celebration turns Doba into an absolute madhouse! You haven’t lived until you’ve survived a Doba Day celebration. Mardi Gras ain’t got nothing!

Sure there’s the Doba truck, Doba Mustang, and one of the wildest Christmas parties in the state, but those are all just nice little extras that really mean very little to me when it comes to my love of Doba.

So there you have it. Just a little something to let the world know why I love Doba so much. Long Live the Triumvirate!

Coming: photos to prove all that I have claimed!

The Luke Johnson Telephone Experiment

Luke Johnson. What a crazy guy. It’s been close to five years since I last saw him. Now that he’s on the cusp of international fame, it’s my chance to say, “Yeah, I know that guy.”

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll write a book about the scandolous LAN parties we used to have together.

That’s him in the image above, wearing the hoodie facing the back wall. That’s me to the left of him bringing my hand to my face as I curse from being killed in the game we were playing (Ghost Recon as I recall).

That was the last time I would see Luke for about 5 years… until I got on to YouTube to look up a Super Bowl commercial. The one with the guy that has cash coming out the wazoo. And there I saw his image right on the home page as the top featured video!

He’s one of the craziest people I’ve ever known. I knew someday that he would do something so crazy that the whole world would want to watch. It was a sad day for LAN partiers in Utah when he decided to move to Arizona to finish his schooling.

Here’s to you Luke! And may you continue in your fame so I can continue saying, “Yeah, I know that guy.” That’s closest I’ll ever get to fame. But it’ll do.

Recent Happenings

I was going through some old pictures I’ve taken with my cell phone. Here are some of the more interesting images…

Nobody ever believed me when I told them that I could type over 60 wpm on a standard QWERTY keyboard. That in and of itself is not particularly amazing, but it’s a bit more impressive being that I do it with one hand, and that my time slows significantly due to the fact that I have to look at the keyboard when typing, so I can’t read and type at the same time like all you normal two-armed folk.

Here’s the proof of my accomplishment, as witnessed by others as it happened:

OK, that’s not from my cell phone. It’s the results of a typing test I took at TypingTest.com

Next up: McDonalds. First they tried doing home delivery (that flopped), then DVD rentals, and now they’re trying to move in on the “QuickCash” check-advance market as indicated by this sign I saw recently at the local franchise:

It’s hard to see, but the sign says, “need some cash apply within.”

As long as we’re on the subject of fast food, how’s this for the physical form of an oxymoron (snapped in front of the local Burger King)?

OK, so it’d be more of an oxymoron if the car were, say, a Maybach. But the Delorean is nearly as rare.

I love the Burger King! And they love me, as evidenced by this, perhaps the greatest invention since the cupholder itself:

And finally, the piece de resistance…

The image didn’t turn out well. It was taken through the windshield of my car, while we were both moving. I tried to wait until we got to a red light, but wouldn’t you know it… for the one time in my life we hit every light green. So I had to grab this fast before he turned off.

In some red goo stuff, the back window reads, “Yes. I would be delighted.” I’m thinking it was a response to a dance invitation such as high school prom. Because it’s so hard to see, I outlined the important part, where it says “Yes” in big letters.

And yes, that’s a swastika hanging off the “s”. It takes a very special person to be stupid enough to drive around town with a swastika put on his back window by his girlfriend. I mean real stupid; like, I don’t know, a white-supremasist nazi kind of stupid?

Barbarians

I read a blog post recently referring to Pakistanis as barbarians. The reasoning was that many Pakistanis were beating up health officials administering polio vaccinations. Why would they do that? Because many Pakistanis believe that the vaccinations are a conspiracy by Jews and Christians to rid the world of Muslims.

Hmm… I always figured the best way to rid the world of somebody was to simply kill them. You know, with bombs and stuff. Vaccinating against a deadly disease seems like a very ineffective way to off someone. Anyway, I figure they’re just “misunderstood.” Take that however you will.

But if you want true barbarism, you should try using the bathrooms where I work. I don’t know if it’s just one person, or there are many barbarians where I work, but for the past couple months or so somebody has been urinating on the bathroom floor… right in front of the urinal. This happens in multiple bathroom stalls.

And what makes it even worse, I’ll bet you money that whoever it is doesn’t even wash their hands afterward! Man, that’s just nasty.