Category Archives: My Crazy Job


Doba took all us employees to the opening night of Nacho Libre a ways back. It was funny… very funny.

I will just say, I enjoyed myself immensely. Go watch Nacho Libre. ‘Tis a good movie.

In fact, it’s even a good first date movie! Don’t hide your true self trying to impress your potential future spouse! Show them who you are on your very first date. Take them to Nacho Libre

“I’m Your Worst Nightmare.”

From Yahoo! News: Crazy Cat Terrorizes Conneticut Town

An interesting IM conversation I had with my manager about the article:

Clark says:

Clark says:
question: can a cat have “cat-like stealth”
Stu says:
bwah hahaha!!! that is the awesomest thing ever
Clark says:
wouldn’t it just be cat stealth?
Clark says:
I mean it’s a friggin’ cat.
Clark says:
Of course it’s stealth is “cat-like”
Stu says:
hmmm… yeah, that’s quite true. Being that he’s a cat, he’d have to purposely fumble his cat stealth. Then it would be “cat-like” rather than true cat stealth
Clark says:
Yeah, some writers are dumb.

A DOBA Christmas

We had the company Christmas party last night. Just like last year, it was amazing!

The best part? Watching Buck, Wade, and Elwon bust some serious moves on the dance floor! As for me, I pulled a Brian (the dog from the show Family Guy) by dragging my butt around the dance floor.

They gave out some amazing prizes for employees with time served. Those for whom this was their second Christmas party with DOBA all received iPod Shuffles. For the two employees (Clark and Buck) who were attending their third Christmas party, they received iPod Nanos.

It was awesome. But I have to admit, for the first time I felt a disconnect from Clark and Buck. Clark, Buck, and I are what our good friend Randy refers to as “The Crew”… employees with tenure, are close to the Triumvirate (DOBA’s founders) who are supposedly exempt from being terminated.

I missed the third Christmas party by two months. But my sadness has nothing to do with my not getting the iPod Nano. Sure, that would have been cool. But in all honesty, I work for DOBA because it THE COOLEST COMPANY EVER!!!

But in my time at DOBA, and of all the things I’ve done here, the thing I am most proud of (and perhaps wrongfully so) is my time served. Clark and Buck are the only other employees — Triumvirate excluded of course — that have more time than me, and the three of us are the only ones who can truly reminisce of the days when sending three employees to eBay Live! meant leaving the company in the hands of the three people that got left back at the office.

And so, I’ve decided to take the original Solids (the title conferred upon us by the mighty Jeremy Hanks) to lunch so I can “reconnect”.

Am I crazy for feeling this way? Maybe I am. But maybe I could be considered even more crazy over the fact that the real reason I’m taking the original Solids to lunch is so I can take a ride in the DOBA Truck which was won by none other than employee of the year Ryan “Buck” Roberts!

I Said “Thanks”

So I arrive at work carrying my lunchbox cooler and gallon of water in my hand. As I approach the building entrance, I’m thinking of how I’m going to get the door open. Shouldn’t be too difficult. I had it figured out.

As I approach the door, the girl ahead of me stopped and held the door for me. I almost vomitted from shock!

After calming myself down, I told the young lass, “Thank you!”

As it turns out, the girl works on the third floor. I work on the second. Now getting the door open to enter the second floor is actually a pretty difficult task for me if I’m carrying anything. I usually have to set whatever I’m carrying down, open the door and hold it with my foot, then grab my stuff back up.

Lo and behold; as the girl reached the second floor she turned to look at me, and realizing that I work on the second floor, opened the door for me before continuing on her way.

Well that did it. I started puking everywhere. Luckily it was a sweet smelling puke, very much like the sweet aroma of a tropical beach.

And yes, I said, “Thank you. I appreciate your help!”

The “Other” One-Armed Guy

The building where I work has several other companies in it. One of those companies has another one-armed fellow working for them.

Ok, I know I’m technically not one-armed. But being that my right arm has been paralyzed for the last 10 years, I have a pretty good idea of what life is like for those that truly are one armed.

Anyway, I pull up to work this morning and see the “other” one-armed guy pulling a computer tower out of his truck and carry it to the building entrance.

As we pull up, my wife says something to the effect of, “Whoa!”, to which I respond, “He’ll get no sympathy from me.”

To begin with, I know he doesn’t want my sympathy. And secondly, I’m a bit of a computer geek. I’ve attended many LAN parties that have required me to haul my computer around town and carry it through doors and what not.

I could have easily opened the door while carrying a computer tower. This fellow, however, didn’t appear too experienced in the ways of the “oned-armed computer carry”. He struggled at the doorway. Given enough time, I’m sure he would have managed to get through the door.

However, I’ve learned that life is tough enough. It’s fairly rare anybody offers to get the door for me, even when it’s painfully obvious that I’m struggling to get through. Sometimes I feel certain that there are some sickos on the other side laughing at me. Then after what seems to be several hours (time slows to a crawl when you feel like you’re making an embarassment of yourself) I get through the door and realize they’re not laughing, but rather just ignoring me. After 10 years, you get used to it.

Anyway… understanding that, although this gentleman would’ve eventually been able to figure things out himself, I know that it would just be a whole lot easier on him if somebody just offered to get the door for him. So I ran up to the door and grabbed it for him. The guy actually said “Thank you.”

Not really a surprise, but nice to hear considering the number of times I’ve held the door for somebody, only to be nearly run down and sneared at by the very person I’m holding the door for.

I give this prediction now. Because of the utter rudeness of able-bodied persons, my one-armed comrade and I will undoubtedly see the fall of the two-armed race and we will come to RULE THE WORLD!!!

Okay, maybe that was just a dream I had once. Don’t think that I hate you just because you’re able bodied. I only hate the ones that I don’t like.

And no, I didn’t lie when I said, “He’ll get no sympathy from me.” I just got the door him. A common courtesy that is being lost in the world.

The point of my big long post? Next time somebody holds the door for you, have the courtesy to say “thanks”. Otherwise they might do what I like to do, which is release the door when the person is part way through so it slams them right in the butt! BWAH HA HA HA! Arrr… that’s entertainment.